Keinemusikfurdashund (dethcokediscord) wrote,

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30 Days.

Yesterday was my 30th day of program and I celebrated by going to a meeting, which is not typical for my Tuesdays. Mark is slated to attend his first Al-Anon this weekend which I think should really help both of us adjust to my being in program. I find that I am asking certain things of him and while he is always willing to do them, he still doesn't get really get it.

In order for him to truly help me, I think he has to understand why I need said things. I even sound ridiculous to myself when I ask him not to talk about food. It sounds like I am blaming him for my compulsions. I'm not, though. I have to be responsible for my own actions. But him mentioning food in sensuous detail or asking me what he should eat or what food we have in the house always brings my mind back to food when it is on it more than enough every day. So I have to set boundaries.

And really, he should too. I'm an addict and I am bound to make mistakes that will affect him. Learning to live with an addict should be a way for him to protect himself as well.
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